Should you expect happiness all the time? The answer might surprise you.
If your goal is to be happy all the time, then you may be surprised at what I'm about to say. Setting yourself up to be happy all the time is just not as realistic or attainable as one might imagine. Happiness you see, is an emotion that while it can bring about moments of euphoria, is not a permanent state. Now this does not mean that you can't live in a state of contentment, joy or any of the other feelings that equate to happiness. You absolutely can and you should. My point today is to make sure that as you go about life, you are creating accurate expectations for yourself that will set you up for complete success.
So let me explain a bit more --
There are many beautiful blessings in life that can and that will contribute to your "happy" state. What I want to emphasize to you today is that we can't expect to be in that "happy" state every minute of the day. Just like our body adapts to different temperatures like hot and cold, our minds are just as temperamental. Feelings are interchangeable and they will often come and go. There are moments in life that will lead to you feeling happy and there are also events in life that can take you more toward feelings like disappointment or anger.
Here’s an example:
Your partner tells you something that upsets you. You become angry in the moment and maybe even worried at not knowing how to resolve the situation. One can’t expect to turn off a switch in your head and now be happy. What’s expected is for you to work through those emotions and get right back into life. Your life is not in shambles and in no way should you take this isolated incident to determine that you could never have happiness. This is a mistake many people make. They get into a stressful situation which completely takes over their mind. They convince themselves that because this particular incident did not work out, they will never be happy.
It’s important during challenging situations (like the example above) for you to take a step back and acknowledge that all of your feelings, whether pleasant or uncomfortable are normal and need to be experienced. When you do this, you are living with reality. You are then able to acquire more of an accurate perception of life.
”Candida, what then is realistic to expect?"
Here's how I'd answer that question. Look to create goals and expectations that can be achievable (I've listed some of those goals below). Be sure to acknowledge any and all emotions that are coming up for you and work hard at managing through your feelings. Each and every one of your feelings, whether pleasurable or uncomfortable, are normal and a part of what makes us human. What's remarkable here is that if you pay close attention to the feelings that come up for you, they can offer you helpful cues and signals in navigating the world around you. Create more moments of happiness in your life while also building into your toolbox strategies to support you in coping with challenges that at some point may show up for you. Live your life in a way that allows you to be flexible, receptive and accommodating. Overall, you can live a happy and good life even while managing through surprises that may come along the way.
Here are some goals you can consider:
Finding more joyful moments and opportunities to laugh throughout the day.
Involving yourself in regular activities that allows you to feel good about yourself.
Learning how to cope through unpleasant emotions so that it does not interrupt or interfere in your life.
Surrounding yourself with positive people.
Having awareness of situations around you and being intentional in how you respond.
In closing, I want to remind you to be realistic with your expectations so that your goals are attainable. There’s no secret to happiness. Happiness comes from everyday ordinary moments, from good and not so good times, and even from easy and difficult situations.