Would you rather be Right or Happy?
An interesting question that really does not have a quick answer.
Read on to hear my thoughts.
I pose this question because very often, I see my clients struggling in relationships because they become stuck in their own point of view, failing to give attention to the perspective of the person on the other end.
Has this ever happened to you before? You strongly believe that you are undoubtedly right and in no way can that other person prove you wrong. In your mind, you start criticizing and judging the other person for having a different opinion. You then become emotionally caught up, feeling angry and upset because that person does not agree with you. You just can't convince them and now you are so upset!
Unfortunately, by holding on to the need to be right, it leaves you closed off to considering other possibilities that may potentially deliver promising results. It may also create conflict between you and the other person, depending on the manner in which you communicate. I’ll give you an example; You start off calmly explaining your point with good intention yet 3 minutes later you find you’re using a much louder & aggressive tone, hands are flaring in all different directions, your hearts pounding and the words of ANGER are written directly on your forehead. What just happened? You were only trying to explain yourself and ended up all worked up because you simply wanted to get your point across.
So now I ask you again, “Would you rather be right or happy?” Being right all the time, does not make you any better or superior NOR does it make you happy. Remember that saying, "Agree to Disagree." Could this be something that may be worth considering when you’re in discussion with someone that has a different belief?
I’d like for you to spend TODAY observing your own behaviors and responses when interacting with family, friends, and colleagues. Pay attention to just how open and receptive you are and just how willing you are to hearing the opinions of family, friends, colleagues, and others.
If you'd like to let go of the need to be right all the time and live with more happiness, here are 7 helpful things to consider:
Value yours needs while also keeping the needs of others in mind.
Let go of the REACTIVE EGO that insists that you or your views are superior to others.
Acknowledge what you do know and accept support, advice, or help when you do not have the answers.
Welcome diversity in any shape, color, or form.
Keep an open mind until you have received any and all information needed to make your final decision.
Let go of judgement. Judgement will create more barriers and further separation.
Don’t try to change people. Accept them for who they are and for the values & opinions they bring into your relationship.
Candida R. Diaz, LCSW-R is the Founder of Face to Face Counseling and Psychotherapy, where she specializes in helping & supporting Women to create a Thriving Life for themselves. For more information, visit https://www.facetofacecounseling.com/