3 Secrets to a Strong & Committed Relationship
Have you ever wondered how some couples just seem to get along so well while others seem like their relationship should have ended years ago?
If so, I'm going to let you in on not 1, or 2 but 3 secrets that are sure to get you closer and more conected in your relationship.
Here we go...
#1
Let go of the need to CONTROL your partner. Your partner is not your possession! Yes, I said it. Your partner is the person you have chosen to ride along side with in this wonderful journey called life. He or she has their own thoughts, feelings, values, and ambitions in life. Remember that your partner has his/her own identity and should be given respect for the person they are. I’ve seen many times, couples demanding of their partner instead of requesting. There’s a huge difference. When you demand, you are not respecting your partner’s views. When you request however, you are demonstrating signs of love, support, and respect.
#2
Dance more with your Partner. Don’t take me literally now. I don’t mean to start slow dancing or rocking to pop music although that can be a fun way to spend time together. What I mean when I say, “Dance with your Partner,” is having the ability to be open, flexible & free flowing (a lot similar to dancing). Lead so your partner can follow and then allow the reverse to happen. Follow and then allow your partner to lead. We tend to get stuck in everyday routines and at times when we have been in relationships for a long time, we may end up having certain expectations of one another. Spontaneity then get’s lost. Here’s an example… It becomes expected for you cook dinner each day and for your partner to take out the garbage. Imagine if your partner surprised you by cooking dinner or if you surprised your partner by taking out the garbage. That spontaneity can definitely bring out the intensity and excitement in a relationship.
#3
No More Keeping Scores. Resist and let go of the need to keep score of each and every time your partner doesn’t do what he is supposed to be doing. Here are some common examples that some of you may be able to relate to: Your partner forgets to bring home the milk (Score I), your partner isn’t ready on time and makes you both late to an event (Score II), you catch your partner being untruthful (Score III), your partner says he'll be home at 7pm and he gets home at 8pm (Score IV) or you tell your partner all the time that you need his help yet he/she disregards you (Score V), and the list continues. These are some real reasons to become upset however resist the urge for anger to protrude and have a conversation with your partner rather than keeping tabs of those things he/she is not changing.
There's true work and commitment in any relationship. If you believe your relationship is worth the effort, then be sure to put the work into it.
Candida R. Diaz, LCSW-R is the Founder of Face to Face Counseling and Psychotherapy, where she specializes in helping & supporting Women to create a Thriving Life for themselves. For more information, visit https://www.facetofacecounseling.com/