Relationships

Why can't we just get along and be happy?

Have you ever looked at your partner and wondered, "Why is it we cannot get along? Very often, we get caught up in life and fail to take time to invest in our relationships. In order to have a healthy relationship, we must put the energy and commitment into making it successful. I have listed a few strategies that can help to get your relationship back on track.

1. Be sure to start your day with a simple morning greeting and a smile.
   
   In this busy world we live in, we are rushing to leave for work in the morning, to take the children to school, or even to leave for appointments. If we do not take notice of how we start our morning, we will not be able to set a good intention for the rest of the day.
   
   

2. Develop better awareness of your own emotions.
   
   When stress takes over, it affects our emotional state and how we communicate to others. We may come across as angry, defensive, and may have little to no patience. Being in control of your emotions will allow you to have more patience and an open-minded approach to addressing heavy duty topics.
   
   

3. Show interest in your partners concerns.
   
   Be present with your partner. When he / she comes home and wants to share how their day went, pay attention. Maybe that means looking away from the TV or putting the phone down. Give your partner the time and respect they deserve. By showing an interest in your partner day, you will be connecting with him/her on a deeper level. Remember, when we are heard, we automatically feel validated and understood.
   
   

4. Let go of the need to win!
   
   You are in a relationship, not a war. There are times when you will need to simply let go of those issues that really are not so important. You will need to compromise and consider your partners feelings with respect and open-mindedness. Yes, this is not always easy, however keep in mind that we are all different and have different views.
   
   

5. Respect one another.
   
   Once respect is lost, your relationship immensely suffers. Can you imagine having a calm conversation with your partner after he insults you and calls you every name in the book! We all want to be treated with respect and dignity. No matter how long you've known your partner, no matter how comfortable you are with him/her, make sure that you are treating them in a manner that is respectful and dignified.
   
   

6. Be sure to consistently display love and affection
   
   We all want to be recipients of love. When we feel loved, our sense of security and confidence grows. Express your love through words, gestures, or physical signs of affection. If you allow more love and affection into your life, you will find yourself to be more at peace.
   
   

7. Take notice of how you express yourself.
   
   "Sticks and Stones may break my Bones but Words would never hurt me!" Remember that phrase from when you were a child? As adults, we've come to realize that words do hurt. Words can have a lasting effect that may never completely go away. A broken leg may heal over time, however hurtful words made during the course of an argument can create emotional scars over a lifetime. Take a breath and think of how you want to respond before doing so. This will ensure that your responses are coming from a thoughtful place rather than a place of anger.

​If your relationship needs help, please call Face to Face Counseling and Psychotherapy @ 917-834-6211, email cdiaz@facetofacecp.com, or use our Contact Us web form and we'll contact you